bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
