The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
