My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
