awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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