An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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