i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
