Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
