lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
