She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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