DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
