I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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