How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
