Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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