I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
