one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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