I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
