When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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