C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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