Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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