the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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