Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My dick has a subreddit
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
