I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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