it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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