You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
