This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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