i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
