There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
