I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I love you.
Bad choice
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
