your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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