everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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