Where did you get a picture of my penis
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
