that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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