We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
