If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
