Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Small penises have feelings too.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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