its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
