well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
