I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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