she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sorry my hands just texted you
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
