I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
