Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
