If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
