I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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