oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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