We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
