the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
