thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
