i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
