There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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