So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
